The title may not make a whole lot of sense just yet, but let me assure you that it IS correct. I want you to recall the last time you told yourself, "I will not hook up with this guy, I will not hook up with this guy, I will not hook up with this guy, I will not hook up with this guy." I've personally received a very similar text message from a friend after she had been drinking. Likewise, I have also sent texts saying, "I will not hook up with this girl, I will not hook up with this girl"... You get the picture.
So I've came up with a way of preventing that from ever happening. Let's face it, when we've been drinking or when clothes start coming off our brain shuts down. As I've said before though, I don't like doing things that put me in situations I will regret later/cause drama that I have to clean up later. Here are some basic lines I use when I'm sober and know that I don't want to hook up with someone later (be it that they're ugly, crazy, ex, or best friend's ex, etc.)
Line 1 (The Bro): "Well it's a good thing you're like one of the guys or I may be tempted to do things to you later when we start drinking." -This one actually can either save you or get you in her pants because either she is too offended to let you touch her, or she'll try pretty much anything to prove she's a girl. Girls, this works too if you call him the "straight gay friend".
Line 2 (The Group): "We should make it a group activity." -Works great on crazies so you have witnesses there to support you and best friends to slap you.
Line 3 (The Bleeder): "I don't know how long I can stay, I just started my period and I haven't felt that great today." -Girls, the second you mention anything about menstruation, it's a metaphorical and literal red flag for us. We will never go there.
Line 4 (The Option): "Wanna be my wingman tonight?" -Guys, if you call a girl your wingman this is partially like Line 1, but with a more directive goal in mind. Girls, if you say this they know that you don't want to get with them.
Line 5 (The Unforgivable): "You're wearing that tonight? This isn't you're best day today, is it?" -This one will shatter any ego that the person may have had before you went out. Instead of paying attention to you, they'll be paying attention to the dark corners of the room they can stand in. If that isn't enough, keep going with something about their hair or makeup. This also may be the last time you hang out with the girl, so be careful.
As my parting gift of advise, I'll leave you with this:
Go out there and catch a grenade so you don't catch a disease.
-Compass
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