Pilot

It's about time you showed up.  If you're reading this, that means 1 of 2 things.  Either you were lucky enough to stumble onto my blog, or a friend told you to follow this fucking hilarious, lucky and brash dude.  Either way, I'm glad you're here.

Before I go on, it's only fair to tell you a little about myself.  I am Compass.  I'm a student, I'm an athlete, I'm a comedian, and I understand women.  It's taken me a while to actually get around to making this blog.  Why?  Well frankly it scares the shit out of me to lay my secrets out there to the world.  It wasn't until I had 1 too many girls piss me off that I decided to actually tell some of their stories. Plus I like making new friends, so I encourage interaction.

My name is rooted in my public image.  Depending on my crowd I can be 1 of 4 personalities, just like the 4 directions on a compass. Everybody, to some extent, knows they have different personalities but I'm one of those men that consciously knows all of mine and embrace my opaqueness.

1)  The good guy:  This one is listed first because this is how most people know me.  I've spent my whole life holding doors open, "yes maam, yes sir"-ing, lending people money, whatever... you name it.  I even kinda like this side of me because I'm a pleaser.  It makes me happy to see others happy.  This is a blessing and a curse at the same time which I'll explain.  On one side of the coin, it's really easy for me to have parents fall in love with me and win their approval.  On the other twisted side of the coin, it nearly always lands me in the friend zone with the hot daughter of the parents.  Still, it's better to be known as good than bad so I maintain my image.  I also tend to be a hopeless romantic at times, but I draw the line at chick flicks... I hate that fake garbage

2)  The professional:  For a lot of people, they view me as the kid in the library who never has a social life.  I have a really difficult major and I work hard for everything I want in life.  When it comes down to getting a job done, I'm all business and I have really high goals for myself.

3)  The party animal:  Dude, I'm in a fucking frat.  I can drink you under the table, out trash talk you at beer pong and make a killer mixed drink.  I love to go to parties to drink, and to watch people.  Surprisingly enough, I don't enjoy getting trashed into memory loss the next day.  Mainly because I make fun of the white trash when they do and I don't like putting my well-being into someone else's drunken supervision (I have a slight control issue).  My favorite reaction is when I run into people I know at a party while they see me doing a keg stand or something.  I should start a picture collection of these priceless faces.

4)  The seducer:  Ah yes, the womanizer...  This is the whole reason I started this blog.  I have been compared to a spy and to Barney Stinson by a few close friends and I'm totally ok with both.  This is also my most challenging side to maintain because, well let's face it, it's deathly important to guard your reputation.  My work and my school come first, so my secret has to stay a secret. In my experience as the good guy, I get to hear a lot of the dumb shit that you guys do to these girls so I took notes.  In later blogs for you guys, I'll tell you about the different types of girls and how to land each of them.  For you girls, I'll tell you which types of guys to avoid so you don't get heart broken anymore.
I hate number dropping, but for you to see my credentials, I've been with over 50 girls and never dated any of them.  Most were just a one time thing to see if I could, and others were some lovely FWB's.  Now before you go calling me names, I'm too cautious not to be safe although I've had a scare or 2 before.

Over the course of this blog, I will share with you some funny stories, some close calls, some life revelations, and some well needed tips on women.  Girls... I love you and you know that, but some of you are just too stupid and pushed me too far.  Read on so you don't become a victim to idiocy, and maybe even learn what guys are thinking so you can get what YOU want.

As my parting gift of advise, I'll leave you with this:
people will always tell you to 'be yourself' but I argue that people always want the truth but never want the scars.

-Compass